Success = Transparency??

Sooo, someone said to me this week... "I saw your blog. It's nice to do that, but it's easy to tell everyone what you're doing when you're successful.  No one wants to share or admit failures".  I had to stop and process that a bit.

First I have to question... are you really reading here??  This blog is for me precisely because I do in fact fail constantly.  Yes, I have had some success... but as a whole, I wouldn't classify myself that way. I gained 8 pounds in the month of December, for crying out loud!!!  I could list the many many reasons, but then will just get hit for being too negative on myself.  Suffice it to say... I do not look or perform like someone two years into CrossFit should.  Have I lost weight?  YES!  Have I improved my fitness? YES! Am I overall better off than I was two years ago? YES!  Have I won the game?  NO!

And weight gain/loss is such a funny thing.  In our (well, MY head anyway) heads its a private struggle that we are scared to share with the world.  REALLY?  Unlike a large variety of issues that people secretly struggle with weight is typically not on the list (yes, there are people who struggle with food/weight issues, but maintain a normal enough weight that the struggle in not apparent. However, those are the minority here in the USA!) How is it that we allow this issue to be put under the table and pretend it doesn't exist? It reminds me of watching a two year old play hide and seek.... they think if they close their eyes and can't see you... you must not be there anymore.  The weight is there.... for the whole world to see, but somehow our private mirrors become warped and untrue.

When Ginhamsburg first approached me about joining their 'Unstuck' program I was appalled.  I was told I would have to stand on stage with my weight and measurements listed on the big screen.  I would be video taped and interviewed... thousands of people would know my secrets (weight); something my husband of 13 years didn't even know. I was sure people would even question why I was involved in such a program.  I was sure they would think... "you certainly don't need a program like that".  Yet, as I stood on that stage... (one of the most difficult moments in a not easy life) I realized the opposite was true.  The whole world knew I had a weight problem.  It was apparent to everyone.  They may not have known exactly what I was eating... but clearly I was eating way more than my body needed for sustenance.  There was no secret.  No one was surprised but me.

That moment was my first step into transparency and honesty.  And while it was difficult, I believe it was necessary.  It is only when we are honest with ourselves that we can be honest with others and expect the same in return. At that point I had no idea if I would be successful.  It is probably safe to say I assumed I would not be.  How many thousands of diets had I failed in the last few years?  I became 'transparent' because I was desperate and out of options.  Whey did it have to come to that??

  How is it that we live in a country where it's normal to hear "I'm going to start going to the gym as soon as I've lost my first 20 pounds"? What does that say about our perspective on fitness and exercise?  Is fitness only for the beautiful ones;  the ones who simply glisten as they 'work out' and read Vogue Magazine?  Why are we afraid to admit fitness is hard and dirty work?  Necessary work.

No one I know would stand by and just watch a friend walking in front of an oncoming semi.  But we will sit at dinner watching a morbidly obese friend take their third helping of desert.  Why is it not ok to say, I love you, I'm concerned about you and how can I help you? Are we afraid to talk about health lest we condemn ourselves with our habits?  In silence we are all accomplices. 

Here is a recent study that shows friends can and do influence our weight.   It shows that
"The more obese friends you have, the more likely you are to become obese, a new study suggests. This confirms previous research that gaining weight may be socially contagious. Researchers aren't sure why this is true. It may be that if you have a lot of friends with unhealthy eating habits, you wind up with similar eating habits, Rand says."

ok, enough rant.  Suffice to say I am here because I struggle daily... minute to minute.  I have found the only way to make this work is with honesty, accountability and positive peer pressure.   I hope that someone loves each of you enough to start being honest.  It could save a life.

WOD on empty stomach

Power Snatch (had to scale to 45#)
Burpees
KB swings 35#
Double Unders

10/9/8/7/6/5/4/3/2/1  17:33

Post wod - hard boiled egg
Lunch  - shredded beef, green peppers/onions/almonds
Dinner - Zucchini stuffed with ground chicken, onions/garlic, almonds