I will not be that person...

So, ya... It's been a rough few months.  And I have nothing profound to say, but will post in the name of accountability as my peeps are bugging me about this.  Honoring brutal transparency I will confess that I have gained 15 pounds and my body fat has increased 5 points since my low of 21% in November.  This is DIRECTLY related to lack of exercise consistency and over the top, incredibly hideous, dealing with stress food binges.  I accept total responsibility.  Which, in all honesty, sucks.  I think I liked it better when I saw myself through different glasses... the ones that skewed the mirror for me, the ones that just ignored the scale and surrounded myself with all the glory of our standard excuses:

"I don't have time, it's genetic, it's only because I had  babies, I've tried EVERYTHING and it just doesn't work for me, I'll have plenty of time later, I do exercise and eat healthy... and on and on and on"

I can still use them to delude myself long enough to skip a workout or stuff my face... but I KNOW the reality of the situation. And if I get confused I can review the pictures posted here! :(

I will admit though, sometimes it is hard to weed out excuses and hard reality. Yes, I have come a LONG way from where I started.  (BF was at 49% if you can imagine!).  Yes, I am 42 years old.  Yes, I may have bad genes, shoulder issues, knee issues (one is a bad running knee, the other dislikes box jumps LOL).  All these may be true... but they can also become excuses.  It's hard.

This weekend I head out to the Arnold Classic... what a humbling experience... ya , even worse than just participating in my daily wod.  No one there knows my story and they probably don't care.  And in all reality, they probably don't even notice me at all... but in my head every person there is thinking... what is that overweight old lady doing out there?  Who is she to be judging Tanya Wagner (CrossFit Games 2009 Fittest Woman on Earth) on reps? (Yep... I got to judge her at regionals last year... INSANE!)  It's all in my head... it's all my own issues... the constant battle. But I will go... that is how I win the battle.  I go, I wod, I blog.  I SHOW UP and the head game is (mostly) won!

I will not be the person that has an excuse for every little failure.  I accept responsibility and am going to move forward.

Ok... this week has been good/bad.  I've been eating Chipotle w my awesome coupons.  I know this is not the ideal way to go about this... but it has been a good jump start (she says as visions of choc chip cookies dance through her head).  I have been eating once a day, other than a few nuts in the evening.  But I have been clean all week!  It's a start.

WOD's

2/28
30 deadlifts @ 95
30 burpees
30 pistols (band assisted)
30 pull ups (back on the bands w a shoulder issue)
2 rounds for time
2 miles on treadmill (first run since September)

3/1
some convoluted thing with box jumps and front squats... lol
then 60 OHS for time
Then run 2.5 miles, 30 ring rows, 20 strict (banded) pull ups

3/2
6 push ups
9 box jumps
21 pull ups (banded)
21 ring dips (banded)

3/3
Power Elizabeth
21/15/9
Power cleans @ 75#
Dips (banded)
30 ring rows, 3 mile run